Friends and Graduate School: Kyle Greenberg

 This year has been an interesting year for me. While I did not move to a new town, change universities, or even lose a lot of my close friends, my role has been completely recreated.

I was very comfortable with myself these last 4 years. I grew into a position I loved and was largely successful in, had a serious significant other, had steady friendships, knew my post-graduate plan, and was participatory in a healthy religious life. 

The start of this year found me in a new position doing something I had never done, single, detached from some of the relationships that were close to my ex, and removed from the spiritual disciplines that had meant so much to me. 

These last few months have been considerably difficult for me. I have found myself not knowing how to think or behave, and to me, there is no more uncomfortable, more scary, or more unnerving thing. I have many insecurities, we all do. The way I suppress mine is through put-togetherness. I compensate for my feelings of being young my dressing up. If my age won't get me respect my attire will. I try to fight insecurities with my height by working out. There may not be a lot of me, but I will make sure I can be confident in what is here. So this disequilibrium has been exceedingly difficult for me. I have been more frustrated, overwhelmed, confused, angry, and sad this year than ever before. Well, at least since I have been a healthy adult. However, this unsureness has pushed me to rely on God and others more than I have ever done before. 

I have developed substantial, meaningful relationships with many members of my graduate class. These people have embraced me in my vulnerability, and allowed themselves to be vulnerable with me. I love you Garrett, Evetth, Leif, Lisa, Amanda, Olivia, and Ramona. And I love the rest of my cohort as well, but those listed have become intimate friends. There is still room for more, so please seek me out, and I will seek you out too. Yes I'm talking to you Cherie, Davinah, and Logan.  

Vulnerability is important, it is what has allowed me to be loved by these friends, and what has allowed me to love them. Communication theory might call it Social Penetration, the depth of what we divulge to one another and the level of reciprocity present. I think it is allowing ourselves to communicate our humanity to one another. It is the practice of saying, "hey, I'm not enough. I am not put together to be able to go through life alone. There are parts of you that are needed in my life. There are parts of you, that when shared with me, actually make me, more me". Vulnerability acknowledges the uniqueness in others, the Light/I AM in them, and asks for them to share it with you. Vulnerability is scary, because many times, we are met with a resounding NO.

So go, be vulnerable. If that is too difficult, and it might be...no, it is...so when it is hard, at least be willing to let someone else be vulnerable. Don't make another fear vulnerability. Don't be another no. 

Watch this, and then go and love,

Namaste